Five Steps To Forgive And Forget

Forgive and forget is a commonly heard expression. In order to move on with our lives and enjoy them to the fullest, we should learn to forgive and forget the people who hurt us in the past. Because this helps us to get over this pain.

Forgive and forget

Forgiveness is not an easy task at all. However, when you leave behind what has hurt you and begin to heal, you will feel much happier.  Because you will no longer carry with you the wounds and scars that this pain has caused.

It’s enough that you had to experience this pain even once. Then why continue to cherish it and make it more important than it deserves to be? Isn’t it enough that you had to endure the pain once? And that you had to take it when it was done to you?

Start the healing process once and for all. It just takes courage, love and understanding. Here are five steps that can help you forgive, forget, and move on with your life.

Realize that the lack of forgiveness affects your life

Understand that the person who once hurt you is still affecting you. Recognize that you are making the decision to forgive someone for your own sake.  It has absolutely nothing to do with the person who hurt you. But only by the fact that you are taking good care of yourself by doing this.

Constantly making the pain bigger than it is will leave you feeling bad-tempered, bitter, and resentful. Try to find a way to deal with your feelings so that your forgiveness will be sincere.

Above all, though, try to stay calm to avoid anger and manage stress. Try to think of something nice. For example, think of someone you have a close relationship with and love. Try to replace negative images with positive images.

Do not deny the situation or avoid it. Deal with it and give the problem the importance it deserves. Do this without the emotional baggage you carried in the past.

Decide if you really want to move on with your life without forgiving them

This step is very important. Therefore, think carefully about it, visualize how you are leaving the issue behind and commit yourself to achieving this goal. Remember that apologizing is not the same as forgetting; some things you will never forget.

Make a promise to yourself that you will never allow these things to affect your life and that despite these memories you will live your life without anger in the present. Forgiveness is not for the person who hurt you. Forgiveness is necessary and a way to improve your life.

You are in charge of your own way of acting. You are responsible for the choices you make. Don’t allow the person who once hurt you to have power over you.

Choosing the least painful path and finding ways to overcome obstacles does not mean that you have to go back to this person to continue the relationship, nor does it mean that you try to justify this person’s behavior. Forgiving and forgetting means taking the power away from this person to hurt you and leaving the whole issue behind.

From how you feel

It is necessary to let go of the feelings you have towards the person who hurt you and free yourself from them. This does not mean that you should confront this person.  This might just make the problem worse. Remember that everything you do is for yourself.

Before you start a conversation with this person, it is important to clearly list your ideas. Make sure you think carefully about what you want to say beforehand.

Try to throw everything out until you feel relieved. Explain why you feel so bad or write down what happened to you: the anger, the bitterness, and the sadness.

It doesn’t matter if you exaggerate a bit in such a letter. It is especially important that you express all your pain. You also don’t really need to send this letter to the person who hurt you.

You write this letter for yourself, so that you can get rid of the pain, so that you can burn the letter or throw it away.

Don’t belittle yourself. It is important that you are aware of the fact that you deserve to be treated with respect. Acknowledge any negative feelings you have towards this person and express those feelings.

Accept your own mistakes

There are very painful emotions in you that prevent you from being able to forgive the person who hurt you in time. These emotions are sadness, humiliation, rejection and deceit. It is important that you accept these emotions and try to put yourself in the shoes of that other person.

Sometimes we judge someone way too quickly without even thinking about what we would do in their situation. Maybe what this person did was something you wouldn’t like to do yourself, but couldn’t avoid doing in the same situation.

Don’t hold back and don’t try to question everything. Think of other situations where you have felt the same way. Think about whether what happened is really as important as you make it.

You don’t have to share your values, opinions or way of thinking or feeling with others. This does not mean at all that you are trying to justify the other. Learn to understand that people are essentially better than the mistakes they sometimes make.

Let go of the situation

Get started. Go forward and don’t look back. Be aware that forgiveness does not happen overnight. It’s a process you have to master yourself. The time it takes to get through this process completely depends on the person going through it.

Only you can know how much time you need to move on with your life and forget what happened. Don’t hold on to the pain, but give yourself the time you need to forgive.

You just have to face that person and say ‘I forgive you’ . After that you will see that everything is better and that you feel free again.

Remember that forgiveness is a process that will give you the opportunity to move forward and forward. Without a certain act or a certain person hindering you, your future relationships or your current life in this.